I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
