You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
