i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
