My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
