At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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