1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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