By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
