Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
