I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
