I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
