She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
