what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
