"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
