we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
