I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
