Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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