Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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