im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
