It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
