Don't make out with my wife yet
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
