But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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