Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
