Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
