Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
3pm strippers are depressing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
