it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
