at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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