So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
