? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
