i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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