I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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