I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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