So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
