Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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