whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
