i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
