we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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