I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
