Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
