so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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