Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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