everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize