Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
