I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize