Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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