And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
