Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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