Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
