i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
