Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
