I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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