She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ladies don't puke and tell
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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