i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
