try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
