i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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