Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
