Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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