I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize