wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
