i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
