Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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