"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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