You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
either way he was missing a nipple.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
